It's the end of the year, with Christmas just days away and the new year on the horizon, it's time to reflect. This past year has been...tough, to put it mildly. I have worked more than my fair share (and I wonder how many people on un-employment make as much as I do at 55 hours a week) and had more heartache than joy, but it's lead me to a place where I no longer feel complacent in ANY way shape or form to "let life happen to me". I have more or less been in the passenger seat for a long time now, perhaps forever and it's taken this hardship I've been enduring to get to this driven, and hopeful place I am reaching.
As many of you know I am planning a move out to Austin, TX in March. As many of you also know, I have been planning a move ever since graduation from Ramapo, almost 5 years ago now. So there is this little devil sitting on my shoulder, taunting me saying "you can't do it, you won't do it, you've said it before I don't believe it." and the old me would have said "NO, you're wrong!" all the while actually believing it. The new me is saying "You're right, but I will prove it to you and to myself." The devil is in the details, and that is totally stressing me out because I don't have everything worked out, but I am doing what I can, and I will go if I have to friggen hitchhike the whole way. Seriously, that is a worst case scenario. Thing is, I don't know what it is about Austin that is calling to me - besides the cheaper rent and the massive amount of music opportunities - but it is, calling to me. I can't and I won't ignore it. If I am wrong, I will be wrong with conviction. If I am right, I'll be in one of the coolest and most beautiful places in the USA! Seriously, Austin is happening.
Lastly, I am sad to say that I have been experiencing hair loss for about 5 or 6 years now and it is so distressing and embarrassing. For a Leo such as myself to have problems with her mane is a serious blow to the pride - No pun intended. At first I thought it was because of my eating habits - at the time that it started, I was an un-diagnosed anorexic. That does make sense, and maybe it is how it began, but I am much healthier now. I eat right, exercise, and drink tons of water so why isn't it growing back thing and strong again?, I ask...let me take you back to about about 6 months ago; I had an accident at work and sprained my wrist very badly. I went to the doctor and they did all sorts of blood work. They confirmed what I already knew, that I have Fibromyalgia, but as there is no way to "test" or really treat Fibro, that diagnosis means nothing to me. I've been living with this pain for the better part life and I'm not really even sure it IS Fibro, or something yet to be found. What they did discover for sure, is that I am severely Vitamin D deficient. This is really bad news considering my grandmother had osteoporosis and this can be one of the main causes of the affliction. What really sucks is that I can't be bothered to remember to take my Vitamin daily. I have always sucked at taking pills (even anti-biotics) but ever since I got on Ritalin, I have had no problem remembering to take THAT, so it stands to reason I am just lazy about it. Then today I googled "Can a Vitamin D Deficiency cause hair loss?", and when it came up as a resounding YES, the first thing I did was pop a D like it was candy. So my vanity was stronger than my sloth. This is sad. This is exactly what I am working towards changing in the next year of my life.
My desire to be healthy mind, body and spirit is about to rise about everything else I can imagine. This, in no way means I plan on being "selfish" - a "me me me" attitude has never been my way. Instead, the attitude I am creating is one that allows me to put my own self preservation and growth at the very top of my list, right after breathing, eating, sleeping, H20, you know...the essentials.
